Video: Lol Ninjas

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

[Valmont stands in front of the camera, and at the same time, he doesn't. The sorcerers robe, (which up to this point has been long retired due to some seriously singed sleeves) has been repaired, and he wears it with a formal certainty which Valmont rarely displays. His eyes glow crimson.]

The year has changed. [He tilts his head back slightly, expression bleeding arrogance.] I have resided here for a full year, as neither warden nor inmate, as imprisoned by this pretense of transformation as any one of you, but without any true promise of freedom at the end of it.

For those of you who's notice I have yet evaded, I am Shendu, the Demon Sorcerer of Fire, and ruler of all China.

[Shendu smiles, and as if on cue, the room fills with dark figures, bleeding forward from the shadows to surround him.]

Though it's a title that enough of you have dared to scoff at in the past, I happen to be feeling quite magnanimous right now. To alleviate any lingering doubts about my power as a ruler, I've decided to provide a demonstration for you all.

[And those ninjas you can see surrounding Shendu? Well, they're now surrounding literally everyone else. Ninjas everywhere guys.

Everywhere]

There will be no more redemption. No more division between wardens or inmates. No more punishments, no more confinement, no more files. They will all be destroyed. All meaningless. The only law will be mine. You will serve me willingly, and I will give you a better life than any warden can promise for your obedience. Resist? And you will linger in the dungeon, for the infinity of time which we are destined to share here.

[He's still smiling, but the expression he wears is thoroughly unpleasant.]

Let me be clear about this, Barge, I do not require your compliance in any way. I do not need your obedience and servitude in order to take this vessel and make it my own. I have taken it while you slept. It is mine already. Giving you the opportunity to serve me is an act of mercy.

The year has changed, oh damned souls and misplaced heroes. It is a new era.

I would advise you to welcome it's embrace.



[ooc: And The Brief and Irritating Reign of Shendu is a go! As always, the plotting post is still open for last minute schemings, and feel free to contact me with any questions, problems, or threads you want to do with this jerk!

ETA: Bonus open log for those thrown into level zero over here!]

Comments

[TELEPATHIC SPAM] lmao derp

[wedonot]

[Whelp, Charles knew this sort of thing would happen some time or other, and honestly, while he might be on his best behavior with everyone else in terms of not poking around in their minds without permission, he doesn't hesitate in the face of things like this. And since it had worked literally every other time he'd done it before, it just seemed like the smartest thing to do.

So, fairly immediately after Shendu's post, he reached out telepathically, intending on ordering him to stop what he was doing so it didn't get out of hand.]

This needs to stop.

[TELEPATHIC SPAM]

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

[Reaching into the mind of the man on the camera isn't exactly a challenge. There's no resistance, no walls erected, but it may be a strange experience none the less. Charles reaches his mind, but there's something else there. Some evasive force shifting through his grasp.

When the mind he's reached out too responds, the feeling of it is entirely at odds with the display shown on the camera. It's startled, barely conscious, and lost in darkness.]

What does?

[wemaketheworld]

No.

[Screw you, ninjas. Go. Away. Rorschach is unimpressed.]

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

Not a wise response, Human! But as I have said, your resistance is without consequence!

[impure_tale]

And what of Valmont?

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

What about Valmont?

SPAM WOO

[trenchcoatedly]

[Castiel's eyes narrow at this sudden intrusion of his privacy. He does not like it in the greenhouse. He does not like it with a mouse. He does not like it, Sam I am. he does not like this here or there. He does not like this anywhere.]

[There's a low rumble of thunder from nowhere. The ninjas, composed of dark energy, hiss with steam as they press up against Castiel, who is now slightly glowing. If you're around him, it's hair-raising even if you can't sense the holy power pouring off him waves.]

Begone, hellspawn.

[He clenches a fist and releases it, streaming light from under his skin, eliminating a substantial amount of the creatures at once.]

SPAM WOO

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

[For all the strange and powerful things that Shendu had seen on the barge, this one was new. A being which shone with inner light and seared at his Shadowkhan with a touch?

Shendu figured out pretty quickly, that he should not touch this being.]

Hellspawn? Wrong pantheon, I'm afraid.

[The words come out in a low hiss, and more Shadowkhan rise up from the dark corners of the room, moving forward to block the way ahead.]

[hourglass_twin]

I think I've seen this before. Before the Barge, I'm fairly certain I've done this before.

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

Really. You have a countless army of mindless servants at your beck and call?

[Do you really? He doesn't sound convinced.]

[darknessb4me]

You borrowed a human body to muster up enough power to populate a small boat with standard shade constructs?

[grand_lotus]

Lord Shendu. What purpose is served by this?

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

Power serves it's own purpose, warden. I grew tired of a life spent awaiting deliverance.

Private - sorry :c

[darknessb4me]

You are magnificently useless.

[truth_is_cold]

[Oh god, why is the Barge suddenly filled with creepy Ninjas in out of nowhere. And yanking people into nowhere. Alright, let's not hit them. Hitting them isn't going to work.]

You seem eager to begin your reign, my Lord.

[You are a different tyrant, Shendu. No Nietzscheans he can think of were named after you. He'll just... go with it.]

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

[Ahh, at last someone showing him a little respect. He instantly suspects.]

I believe that in these circumstances, the old adage: he who hesitates is lost, applies. I had the means to overcome, so I used it.

[insolubleriddle]

[Edward's human. He isn't even vaguely a fighting human. If he attempts to physically dispose of those ninjas, he's going to end up imprisoned. The only way he can help is through compliance.]

I, for one, welcome our new overlord.

[Half-hearted clapping.]

Jolly good show, hip hip hooray, and all that.

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

[Ugh, he remembers finding you extremely irritating, Eddie.]

I'm glad to hear that. I presume you're feeling equally excited about your future of servitude?

[flashy_magic]

So what do you need us to do? Hair and nail maintenance? Back massage?

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

[He's about to snap a response, before it occurs to him that... Hair and nail maintenance were both definitely Valmont's responsibility, and he's not certain how to do either of those things.]

...Yes. All of those things. I demand your presence at once!

[mightymorbid]

So I suppose the next logical step would be to ask you what the next step would be. You have the Barge. Your power is at its greatest. What are you going to do with it?

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

I'm sorry, was I not clear about my plan to force the rest of you into an eternity of servitude?

[timesbureaucrat]

[Ninjas. Ninjas everywhere. If Narvin had been with Kay at the time, loyalty might have demanded that he go down fighting with him. But since he's alone, and not particularly ashamed of his cowardly streak, he surrenders immediately. And just as immediately contemplates the possibility of first earning Shendu's trust, and then backstabbing him. Repeatedly. (It's just like politics back home.)]

Your mercy is great, my lord. I shall welcome your rule.

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

[He claps his hands together in satisfaction. Well done, Narvin.]

A wise choice indeed! And for you, I have a special role picked out already!

I have been told of your gift for words, so you shall be my scribe! Responsible for glorifying me through verse and scripture! I expect to see the fruits of your labor sooner rather than later.

[You're welcome, Narvin.]

[creatingalegacy]

[Amanda simply watches silently, her face betraying no emotion.

It's time to work.]

[darknessb4me]

A whole year?

That must be terrible for you.

Tell me, once you have the Barge, what's your plan after that?

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

Your attempts to appear unconcerned about this shift in the balance of power is somewhat hindered by the fact that I see you desperately scrambling through these communications, trying to claw at the attention of your colleagues to disparage me.

It's really quite pathetic, your Highness.

[Lolol no answer to your question, Arthas. He just wants to diss you.]

[ Video ]

[surfaceshine]

Really? Really? I don't even...

[Dean is looking around the room, eyes slightly wide as he registers how screwed he is. The feed cuts off when he raises his hands in the universal sign for surrender; if he can make it to the hall, he has a chance, he figures.

He's wrong, but that's never stopped him before.]

[ Video ]

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

Yes, really

[Oh, cutting off the feed, are you? Well, if you're surrendering then the ninjas won't need to beat the hell out of you, Dean.

But if you try any funny stuff, they'll be on you like white on rice.]

voice

[changemydear]

[Well, this is odd. The Doctor frowns, thinks for a while, then decides fuck it, he'd be much better off serving Shendu and possibly getting somewhere than being stuck in Zero (his pride is hurting at the moment though).]

Fine then. You asked, and I shall serve you. How can I be of service, Lord...it was Shendu, wasn't it? How odd, I've never heard that name before.

voice

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

I have decided that those of you who are more forward in your loyalties, shall be responsible for the control and motivation of the more hesitant.

Assemble my workforce! I expect this place to be running like an imperial palace before the day is out!

[bitmelodramatic]

...you've got to be kidding me. Do all villains read from the same instruction manual or is there some sort of evil club where they share secrets? Because I'm quite sure I've heard that before with a few different names, titles, and minions mixed in.

[plz_gtfo_dragon]

Perhaps. The art of throwing a violent coup is a timeless one.

[peektuttut]

Ninja. You've got to be joking.

[AND THUS TIM WOUND UP IN ZERO.]