plz_gtfo_dragon

I don't suppose that anyone has a calendar? I really need to start keeping track of how long I've been here, and I don't much feel like scratching tally's into my doorframe.

[Valmont lets out a mildly irritated sigh.]

I know this sounds obvious, but I really abhor being in prison. Yes, yes, I know some people get institutionalized and join gangs and what have you, but I've never been in one long enough to settle in, as it were. I just find places like this utterly frustrating.

[Why is he saying all of this? He's just finally bored and isolated enough that he actively wants some human contact outside of Iroh.]

Honestly, I thought getting possessed was hitting rock bottom in terms of productivity, but at least I still had my enforcers around, at least I was still doing something, I still had something to aim for. Here? It's just the same repetitive, pointless tasks every single day.

[Contemptuous snort.]

The only thing that hasn't gone into decline since I got here is my sex life, and I'm quite sure if that had any further to fall then it would have done.

[PAUUUUUUSE. OH GOD DID HE JUST SAY THAT? WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT? HE DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT! QUICK, DISTRACT PEOPLE FROM IT! Valmont's voice has suddenly jerked up a few octaves, and is suddenly, deliberately, distractingly chipper:]

Could I interest anyone here in a game of chess? Or...[GOD WHAT DO PEOPLE LIKE TO PLAY? Not monopoly, too evil.] ...Scrabble?